![]() ![]() It felt like a performance for me, though I don't think I would have had that insight at the time. It was totally cool of her to do, but it didn't do anything for me. Next time we saw each other, she (very lightly) incorporated some cupcakes into fooling around. I remember trying to articulate something, but only vaguely expressed "an association with food and sex." I wasn't trying to hide anything or "test the waters," but I think that latent desire just came up out of nowhere. ![]() After college, I was talking to my then-girlfriend on the phone after I'd had a few drinks. I dated a lot and all that, but I wasn't aware of or in touch with a fat-centric sexuality really at all. I had what I would think is a typical middle/high school/college/post-college sexual experience. I must have repressed that sentiment for a long time afterward. I remember feeling relieved I hadn't said anything, but pretty sure that had an effect on me. I hadn't heard the word "boner" before, and I almost said something along the lines of "Oh, you mean that thing that happens when you think about naked or fat women?" Pretty sure I remember someone interrupting me or speaking first and not mentioning fat women at all, so I think I inferred that no one else had that same feeling. I remember talking about erections with friends for the first time at school probably not too long after. ![]() I felt guilty about it, labeled it "wrong," then drew another where she and I were "normal" sized and labeled that one "right." I drew myself playing violin for her at a table with a red and white checkered tablecloth, which, in retrospect, is a hilarious and sad romance trope. Probably around third grade, I remember drawing a picture of my crush as massively fat and bursting out of her clothes. So, like a lot of people, some weird 90s cartoon made me feel some kind of way.Īs a kid, I would sometimes go to sleep imagining girls in my class gaining a lot of weight. In an alternate reality, Angelica is too fat to move, cramming cookies and drinking maple syrup while Tommy's parents are baking cookies and can't keep up. I absolutely knew about this at an early age, before knowing anything about sexuality or understanding it at all.Įarliest related memory is watching an episode of Rugrats as a kid (for the curious-"Chuckie's Wonderful Life"). In early-30s now, and this primarily defines my sexuality though I haven't told anyone, have never acted on it, and relegate it to my fantasies. Tl dr - Definitely knew about it before I knew of/understood sexuality, gravitated away from it possibly due to shame and societal norms, had a "conventional" sexual experience growing up, and reconnected in my early-20s. Feederism content aside, I would recommend the show it's really well-done and has top-tier actors and high production value. So, it's a little icky, but I nonetheless thought it deserved a mention here. The show does portray their relationship in a negative light, but the guy is pretty creepy and the woman does seem to be somewhat coerced or convinced to participate. I actually have not seen the last few episodes, so there may be other parts of the show that deal with it, and there may be other parts of the show I've forgotten. Without spoiling much, you find out later that he keeps a record of what and how much she eats. Later he feeds her ice cream in the middle of the night, and at this point, it's finally clear what's going on. Later, he serves her whalemeat in front of her mother, who disapproves, and I'm assuming because whalemeat must be very rich and fattening. They aren't main characters, but but in the first episodes, there's a scene where the man encourages the woman to order a burger when she's deciding between a burger and something healthier. There are characters (man and woman) in an explicitly feeder/feedee relationship in season one. There's a sci-fi/mystery/thriller Amazon original called Fortitude about a small community on a remote Arctic island dealing with sudden, bizarre murders when they virtually had no crime otherwise.
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